Ants in my pants rant

OK people, I can't take any more. What’s with this 'let's take something that's been around for years, give it a wanky new name and make it flavour of the month' rubbish?
 
Examples? There are loads, but here are just 3.
 
1) Podcasting (crap phrase alert #2!) – what is 'Podcasting'? It's the recording of an audio file and the sharing of that file via the medium of the web. We used to call it 'audio files' or if you wanted to be a bit trendier, 'audio streaming' – but that's not good enough for the Noughties – we have to repackage it as Podcasting and make it the new big thing.
 
2) Webinar (crap phrase alert #3!) – webinar? webinar? I'll say it again – webinar? Purlease…. So, imagine the meeting (I bet there was black ash furniture and a pool table involved a la 80's advertising exec type office … and maybe one of those Pacman games)
 
"I know, we'll video something and either show it live across the web or record it for future use. Yeah, I know they used to call it video streaming, but that's not sexy, and besides, no-one bought into it. Let's give it a sexy new name and we'll be rich, rich I tell you! OK, so it's like a seminar….. and it's on the web….. semiweb, internar, seminet… no, no by Jove I have it – a WEBINAR….
 
It's OK, no-one will ever realise it's just a crappy made up name to make them think we've invented something new – this time next year we'll be millionaires Rodders….."
 
3) Blogs (OK only a semi crap phrase…)… OK, I’ll try to say this slowly and I’m only going to say it once.
 
A blog is like a diary, where you update it regularly and people can comment on it if they like.
 
Real blogs include:
 

• The Artfinder blog – http://www.art2008.co.uk/blog/
• Dom’s blog – http://www.dompannell.com/
• The Dude blog – www.itdudes.co.uk/blog
• The Emperor’s New Clothes blog – http://theemperorsnewclothes.blogspot.com/

Last Thursday is not a blog site (although it now offers your own personal blogging facility) – it's a community with a variety of forums (fora).
 
So is Ecademy, So Flow, Linked in and numerous other so called Blog sites.
 
When you post in a club or on the Front Page – that's called starting a thread, not a blog.
 
When you reply, it's a post, not a blog.
 
So if anyone else says to me "Why don't you blog about it" while talking about posting a thread on a forum, I think I may scream. Bring on the sponsorship by Lockets….
 
What's that nurse? Give you my arm? That's a mighty big needle, are you sure it won't hurt? OUCH! Oooh look at the pretty colours…. maybe I’ll blog about it……

The ‘I wondered how long that would take’ bit

A childcare company in San Jose is suing Google, stating that as they dropped in Page Rank from 5 to 0, it has effectively cut off all traffic to their website. Usually Page Rank drops when someone uses sneaky tactics to try and get higher listings, but the owners of the site swear they did no such thing. The suit charged Google with having a monopoly in online search and contended Google was denying KinderStart its First Amendment right to free speech under the US Constitution. Google intends to defend the suit ‘most vigorously’ More here http://uk.news.yahoo.com/20032006/323/child-care-website-alleges-google-stunted-growth.html

Splut?!?

Don't ignore the smaller search engines when it comes to promoting your website – some of them provide great well targeted traffic. Submit your site to http://www.splut.com- it's not a very well known search engine, but it generates traffic to nearly all my customers' sites. It's free to submit to, or you can choose to pay to get higher listings.

Communications merged at last

More and more businesses are using Instant Messaging to connect with their clients and networks. But with AIM, Yahoo Messenger, ICQ, MSN, Skype and more, it's becoming a nightmare to keep up with who's on where, and a pain to have to run multiple chat clients! Gaim http://gaim.sourceforge.net is an Instant Messaging client that works with AIM, ICQ, MSN, Yahoo, IRC, Jabber, Gadu-Gadu and more. So all you have to do is run one chat client, freeing up space, memory and time. It has no support for Skype chat as yet but I’m sure it's only a matter of time.

Weird & Wonderful (I)

A round up of strange websites I’ve found recently
 

• Are you lonely? Are you poor? Solve all your problems with one mouse click – marry an ugly millionaire! http://www.marry-an-ugly-millionaire-online-dating-agency.com/
• Do you spend hours popping bubble wrap at Christmas time? Well no you can do it all year round with Virtual Bubble Wrap! http://www.urban75.com/Mag/bubble.html
• Pavement Gear – a site detailing bits of clothing and items found on the pavement. No, I have no idea why either… http://www.pavementgear.com
• An oldie but a goodie – The Anagram Finder http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html – absolutely pointless, but at least minutes of fun, with such gems as:Nikki Pilkington – Liking kink in pot
  James Wayde – A mad Jew, yes
  Aboodi Shabi – I is a bad hobo
  Leanne Smith – Is mental hen
  Lydia Bates – A bats yield
  Derek Sorensen – Denser sneer OK

Who is Nikki Pilkington?

12 years ago, at the 'tender' age of 21, I decided that I needed a career, not just a job, and the Internet beckoned.

Back in 1994, it was easy to work on the Internet. Every man, and all of their dogs(!) were 'designing' websites, and professing to be the next big thing. And I wanted part of it!

The thing that struck me very quickly, however, was that although there seemed to be thousands of people out there designing websites, I was still meeting people every single day who were complaining about how their website had no visitors, brought them no business, was a waste of time, etc. (Incidentally, I still hear the same complaints today, 12 years later!)

It became obvious that there was a niche for people that could work out how to do business online or via a website, and I set out to learn as much as I could.

And so I developed my skills in search engine listings, email campaigns, banner advertising, and more. I wrote articles, gave out advice, and slowly but surely built up a reputation for helping people to make the most of their websites.

And over the last ten years, I have helped small, medium and large sized businesses to realise their potential on the Internet, through a variety of services. Firstly running my own company, Severina Publications, then running the online department of a marketing agency based in Northampton, and now working as NikkiPilkington.com in conjunction with Weblator, a web design and programming agency in Milton Keynes.

From initial consultation, through to planning and implementation, I offer a very personal service that brings measurable results. So there you have it – Nikki Pilkington, Internet Marketing Expert for 12 years.